Blog
Talking to a partner about trying something new
Bringing up a new toy, a fantasy, or an idea you’re curious about can feel like the most nerve-wracking part of the whole thing — more so than actually trying it. A little planning around the conversation itself makes it far easier.
Pick the moment, not just the words
Timing matters more than wording. Bring it up outside the bedroom, when neither of you feels put on the spot — over dinner, on a walk, or in a low-key text exchange rather than mid-moment. A relaxed setting takes the pressure off both of you.
Lead with curiosity, not a verdict
Framing it as curiosity rather than a critique lands very differently. “I saw this and thought it looked fun to try together” invites a conversation. “We should use this because…” can sound like a complaint about what you already do. Small wording shifts change the whole tone.
If the answer isn’t an immediate yes
“Not right now” or “let’s talk about it more” are completely valid responses — the goal is an ongoing conversation, not a single perfect pitch. Ask what feels uncertain about it, and really listen; that’s usually more productive than re-making the same case louder.
When you’re both curious
Once you’re on the same page, browse together rather than presenting a done deal — picking something out together is often half the fun.